3 Ways to Be a Better You in 2022
How to Make the Most of the New Year by: Hilary Weinstein
Don’t ask me how, but it’s 2022. As we enter the new year, we have a fresh start to recommit to ourselves and our health. So how do we do this? How can we best set out to identify and improve areas where we’ve felt stuck? Below are 3 factors to consider when setting self-improvement goals.
1) How we conceptualize our ability to make change (Limiting Beliefs vs. Manifesting)
2) What media we absorb and how we compare ourselves to others
3) Holding ourselves accountable
How we conceptualize our ability to make change (Limiting Beliefs vs. Manifesting)
When a person has a goal in mind related to self-improvement, it can be easy to feel overwhelmed by the work that needs to be done and focus on how far they have to go instead of how good it will feel when they get there. This is where a person can get tripped up by limiting beliefs. Limiting beliefs are assumptions about our reality that come from our perceptions of life experiences. Examples of limiting beliefs are, “Good things never work out for me,” “I’d never be able to start my own business,” and, “My relationships never last”. The things that we say to ourselves can be the number one support tool we have to guide us towards our goals and dreams. When we don’t believe we can, we won’t.
Manifesting is the idea that when we believe we can, we will. Manifesting has become a big buzz word in the health and wellness space. What is it? On its surface, the term ‘manifesting’ can come off a bit hippy-dippy, but the idea is actually reminiscent of an Evidence Based Practice in Psychotherapy called Solution-Focused Brief Therapy guy (SFBT). The Solution Focused Model holds that focusing only on problems is not an effective way of solving them. SFBT looks at a person’s default patterns for finding and executing solutions, evaluates the patterns’ efficacy, and modifies or replaces them with problem-solving approaches that are more likely to yield successful outcomes.
The more we focus on a possible outcome over another, the more likely that outcome is to happen. A key component of SFBT is challenging ourselves to visualize the desired outcome instead of allowing fear to preoccupy our thoughts with worst case scenarios. So, with this new year on the horizon, whatever your goal, instead of ruminating about how far you have to go or your self-doubt and fears that you won’t achieve your goal, can you focus on picturing what it will look and feel like when you achieve it?
2. What we absorb and how we compare ourselves to others
What we take in and absorb on a daily basis has a big impact on how we perceive ourselves. When a person is working on self-improvement, social media can serve as an obstacle. Studies show that there is an inverse relationship between social media and self-confidence. In large part this is due to comparisons people make and negative self-beliefs they adapt when using social media. Reality is distorted by social media. People highlight the best versions of themselves instead of the real, raw, and messy versions. We are using the same scale to measure two entirely different realities. Comparing our true reality to others’ glorified realities can lead to feelings of inadequacy and dissatisfaction when scrolling through our newsfeed.
So how can this obstacle be reduced in its capacity to negatively impact self-improvement goals? One way is to reduce time spent on social media. This can be done by creating boundaries like time limits and/or certain times of day. Another way to decrease the negative impact of social media is to unfollow accounts that are triggering to you.
3. Accountability
When we hold ourselves accountable to a goal we are more likely to achieve it. Accountability can be hard on your own. Utilizing the support of a safe person can be helpful when it comes to accountability. Another helpful tool that doesn’t involve reliance on another person is journaling.
Journaling can be harnessed as a great accountability tool (even if time spent is as little as 5 minutes). Aside from its clearest benefit, catharsis, journaling is an underrated way to help you stay accountable to taking the best care of yourself.
Journaling can help you to organize your thoughts by visualizing them. This improves your brain’s ability to switch gears from emotional thinking to rational/goal oriented thinking. With the right prompts, you have the opportunity to challenge the emotions you put onto the page with healthier thoughts and more rational alternatives. This can help you get “unstuck” from emotional loops and focus more on solutions.
The idea that you wrote something down on paper, out of your head and into the world, can make it seem “more real” and create a sense of accountability to yourself.
Studies show that people are more likely to stick to a goal when accountability is a factor. Journaling can help you better understand your goals, organize the steps it will take to get there, and increase your motivation and likelihood to stick to those steps.
Our thoughts are very powerful because they control our emotions, and our emotions lead to our behaviours, what we act on and how we react. Whatever your 2022 goals are, reframing how you think about yourself and how you think about your ability to achieve your goals is key. Changing your belief system is one of the most important steps to take in achieving success.